Big Tony

Being a Star Wars,
Battlestar Galactica man I myself, I usually choose to watch all sci-fi,
futuristic or logically thought provoking films as my first choice. Though in

China

, one ends
up watching whatever is new, and end up wishing there was a reverse and play
button on life, where you could get you last 1 hour and 45 minutes back from
watch crap. Not that Irish Jam or Keeping Mum, didn’t have their places in the
cosmic order of things, just that they didn’t fit my frame of mind, when I
watched them or probably ever would.

Movies like King Kong should be watched on the big screen, and although I
tried, after watching an ADD version of the knock off, where the DVD player had
good and bad moments, I still wasn’t able to catch it in the theater. So as
with all films, it usually makes it before my eyes as a DVD, or download, even
before I see an Ad for it, or hear about it.

Once in a while, you DO find a movie, that makes you go, hum… but usually
it’s like when To Kill a Mocking Bird was assigned reading in high school. You
read it grudgingly, and didn’t realize the back ground and deeper reflections
about racial situations or the coming of age of Harper. Only a bit, at a time
while reading the Cliff Notes or watching the black and white movie. Little
bits of realization as I too grew up over the years listening to others make
references to TKAMB.  What memories I had of it was the jungle fever the
white girl had, and Boo Radley the spook.

Today, I was reminded of Boo.

Watching Capote today was like reading To Kill a Mocking Bird. A bit at a time.

Now a days, my entertainment is either download off of mininova, on demand, off
of Sat, or from DVD. Usually with DVDs I let it run, while I do other things,
so the house does not seem so quiet and empty. Sometimes, I will play downloads
on my laptop even, and still have the DVD on.

So, it was with 3-4 tries, that I have even gotten this far with Capote. (The
DVD is on pause, while I jot down this entry. My memory is not like before, and
if I don’t write it, the muse evaporates. — not that there were grand to begin
with, but just somehow punctuating) and as always, epiphanic moments are best
when they come unexpected.

The connect a dot mapping your subconscious does. That Nelle was Truman’s
neighbor and protector. That Nelle was Harper Lee.

Harper Lee , the author of To Kill A Mocking Bird was widely known to have
based Dill, the inquisitive boy on Truman Capote. But, while watching Capote,
you come to realize that he is gay, and Nelle, his neighbor was
"actually" his protector "bodyguard" in youth. So much so,
that perhaps Boo Radley may have actually been the homosexual persona of
Truman. The one ego that everyone knows about, but no one talks about. The
prejudice against and curiosity with Boo, even as young children tried to put
into words but could not and thus came out as "phantom".

The misunderstanding of general society and somehow strange shame to be locked
away. That which SF has embraced but the rest of

America

was only forced to deal
with because of HIV.

It occurred to me a few minutes ago that although Nelle wrote about race
prejudice, she also may have hinted toward the other prejudice, homosexuality,
which she protected while she was Truman’s neighbor.

Truman wrote Breakfast at Tiffany’s and eventually, "In Cold
Blood".  Strangely, it seems that Perry Smith was also a homosexual,
and there might have been more to the murders than Truman knew society was
willing to accept, or that the non-fictional novel can point out back in the
60s.

Same with To Kill A Mocking Bird, it too may have been swift under the rug,
only to be rat ionized into 2 person/ egos and explained as a result of victim
of red neck violence and a misguided youth.

So, it is with much curious impatience that I finish this entry, so that I may
return to Capote to see if there was an underlying plot theme to the movie.

Hopefully, after that 24 and Sopranos would have downloaded, to distract me
from finishing the copywriting for the new site. Procrastination comes in many
forms, most of which manifests in the entry above.