Going out ! Bane of Single Males
Going out with these rockstars in this day and age. I am, too old for this shit.
Been going out with J and H, who both pack 20 friends each, and always generous with buying bottles. I hate the collecting thing, but Johnny and Henry always buys bottles and get stuck with the collecting, and although maybe 7 people end up chipping in, collecting at the table is always a drag. 4 bottles for 25 some boys and girls, instead of 2 bottles for 6 is just not the right drink to drinker ratio. Anyways, I feel bad for those 2, even if they are rockstars and have some of the biggest smiles around. I will probably give the 2 boys 15 large each, for the next 4 outings, so they don’t have to do the embarrassing collections. They really put up with too much.
Plus, it’s hard to not drink, when whiskey shots bottoms up is the norm of the day.
Solution: 2 nights a month, pick 2 venues, and assemble a “drink club”. Designated money bags with pre collected pot, and one person to regulate.
The other thing: Imagine this : Mel Brooks moment!
So, my friend Mike was in town from BJ.. someone I had gone to high school and Cal with. I met Big R at Face, and end up meeting Tony L, Jennifer, Ron and Albert at New Baby Face. After that , we did a tour of Lux-Park, Guandi, Rouge, and VIP.
While at Baby Face, Tony L, prims this skit and says to me “Hey, bro, you should practice your line with some of the girls here at our table!”, we were sitting at a table at the top of the Club VIP area, and there were few seats availabe, There were 7 attractive girls facing the railing. Jennifer plays dice with me, and proceeds to kick my ass. Big R actually wins with her. (WTF), anyways, I am half plastered by lairs dice.
We decide it was time to go to Park, and get up to leave. I see 2 of the girls near the stair/exit next to our table. 2 girls that didn’t look very comfortable, sober and standing by themself, and may not speak English. Yes, these maybe the girls who drink OJ at a club and pretend they like it and pout.
Anyways, I figure maybe I should chat them up and so walk up to them, and gave my “line”, as Tony L calls it. “Hey, whats your name, we are leaving for next club, you staying here?” and point my thumb toward the club exit.
She mumbles something under her breath, and my friend asked her what she said.
I realized later, that she thought I was asking to take her home, which would not be too far from the end goal truth for most nights with the boys, but……….. she thought………. it was for MONEY!
I did a bewildered double take that Scooby Doooooo would have envied.
Apparently,the music was loud, she heard wrong and ACTUALLY mumbled “Idiot!’ under her breath!’ I realized later that I blocked her fumble out completely, because no where along the logical line of reasonable answers would “Idiot” ever be a choice. for “Hey, whats your name?” Really, her name could NOT be “Idiot!”, unless her English teacher was playing a cruel trick on her.
Funny, her friend, introduced herself over the loud music, just fine.
WTF?
If this gal thought I wanted to take her home, most days she would be completely correct. I am male after all. Like Chris Rock says, all guys really want to say is ” Can I get some??”, expecially if we are drinking THE “Whiskey” like our table had been.
But for Bling?, at a club? Please………..
I told Tony L, Ian and A C, later and all were chuckling at my expense. One was even nice enough to suggest that I should pronounce my line better, and the other explained the double cupid air gun point. My old friend from SF, told me the story made his day. Glad it made someone laugh, because I still don’t really understand it.
But how sitcom-ish was that? Hey, go practice your line, … Okay, “Hey, whats your name” and a dialog box above her head pops up, and she is like “What? $$$$?” which unfortunately means, she has either been asked before (poor girl), or I look like a regular fucking pervert to her! , and adding insult to misunderstanding, the assumption that I would actually be willing to offer.
Hey, no saint here, but ……………………
It is awefully presumptious of her…………. Okay, maybe being tipsy, smiling, and talking to some girl, could be intimidating and should never be tried, but not with something as simple as “what is your name?”. Would the skit have been funnier if it had been maybe, with ” How do you like your breakfast? or Who is your mamason again? or one of those other ones about pants on the bedroom floor.” ?
End of it all. SH girls needs to have some more self-confidence. Object of desire, not goods to be purchased! It should not even be part of the optional definiation considered. Bless our jaded asian male hearts! Where are the cool girls at?
Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon occurence in China, or in Asia, so the mistake could be understandable I guess. We closed down Mint tonight after hang out with Pauly at Peg. End of the night, the pro started coming to our table. We are not special, she went to all the tables of rawdy men. At least she didn’t need to be given a hint to go to the next table of inebriated males. Whatever.
But A for spirit for the new generation. I mean, I like our little 20 year old dirty dancing friend better; she has the gusto to try to jock 3 of my friends at the same time! But at least she has game or think she does, and doesn’t think of “money” in the same breath, even if she doesn’t understand the concept of connectors and 3 degree of separation rule in Shanghai.
The sweet heart is still looking for love. Can’t blame her for that. But…………..
Everyone knows each other, so don’t look so sheepish when you gets busted for being a player ! After, all, although looking for a bf in a club is like looking for ice in Hell, sometimes it does happen.
Even if my guys are players as well.
Hate the game, not the player.
It’s no wonder, the majority of my once single friends, now are no longer single. It gets old.
Anyways, all I want is a good conversation, and maybe something that at least allows me to think there would be a relastionship beyond the obvious. Pretend, baby, try at least. Can one stay unfazed here?
Funny 4 second sitcom skit material tho, but not so funny in the grand view of mentaility in SH.
My conclusion: fuck meeting up with random friends of friends of friends.
Stay just a licking drop from being sober, regardless of the number of bottles.
And from now on—>
I am either chilling with a close group of friends, or I am on a date.
Date! So, she can at least have the same amount to drink as I, and not misunderstand ANYTHING over loud music. Real conversations, with real content.
Like earlier tonight:
Went to dinner with JL, and Simon, and had a real conversation just chatting alot about nothing. But it was a real 2 way conversation. I still have hope. It does happen, even if it’s as elusive as Bigfoot.
Am I still surprised after 9 years? even if I did take a 6 month break, partially because of exactly this? Is it any wonder that I want to be half time in SF after 2 more years?
And please ladies, I will get you a drink, but if you even maybe think of money anywhere close to what a relationship represents. You can buy me a drink. I am not looking. Tony would rather chill with friends, stay home or play poker with the boys.
(Some day this will all be in a sitcom I am sure.) (”The one about Money for Sex”, Ross and Joey)
Times like this, I especially miss spending time with my baby sisters, or having my girl friends around, who automatically repel these other jaded woman just by their presence.
On a super bright note, although , its 4:30, and we have gone through about 7 rounds and 3 bottles, I myself have not had more than 3 drinks. Still having a good time, and not behaving badly. Can do, Can do. and now ………………………………………to slow down the cigs, my nagging vice.
Out. (Revised due to graphic language and description, wed Oct 5th)
